Davey Jones died suddenly of a heart attack at the age of 66. how did this happen? although The Monkeys were popular when I was early teens they were not my favorite. I hope it was sudden and he had done the things in life that he wanted to do.
one of the reasons I want to de-activate my defibrillator is to give myself the opportunity to go suddenly if that is what is supposed to happen. with the defib that can’t happen, it will try to jolt my heart back into action even if my heart is ready to quite. there are other reasons but I don’t think it would bring any comfort to those I love to discuss it here. what I would hope is you know that I have not made any decisions without fully weighing the pros and cons. this has not been an emotional response to my condition. be assured that any choice made by me has been given much thought.
recently I joined a page on facebook that gives an opportunity to talk about your bucket list and to see what other people are hoping to do. it has been a joy to read some of their comments. this weekend I posed the question “if you knew you only had a year to live what would change on your list?” (keep in mind they do not know my situation) and the answers had some commonalities. the major thing in common was spend more time with family, one was to beat down the door of a relative who had not been in their life for years. many wanted to travel, there was one getting a tatoo. my question would be why would you wait to make these changes?
since they do not know my situation someone asked me what would be on my list. I will give some acceptable response as this seems the best way to behave. in truth there is nothing profound on my list. the reason for this? my life has been my bucket list. there are few things left undone and what I work on now is more day-to-day plans rather than plans to be completed at some future date. over the years I have traveled to most of the places I have wanted to see and some I had never dreamed possible. the whole idea of a bucket list fascinates me. not sure I totally understand the concept, is it a list for when you retire? is it something younger adults make and try to do these things? technically it means “before you kick the bucket” and that can mean different things to different people. if you think you are going to live , not forever, to an advanced age it makes sense to save things to do during those retirement years. my dad retired and had made plans to go to canada, to visit family and travel some more. sounds good? of course, unfortunately he died before getting on the road. would he have done this sooner if he had known?
maybe knowing your on borrowed time is an advantage. over the past few years I have often wondered if it is a blessing or a curse to know. for me it is a blessing. to be able to say the things that need to be said, to get things in order so those I love are not left wondering what needs to be done. hopefully enough has been done to allow chris to take a breath before dealing with the next part of his life that won’t include me.