at times I have wondered if I was being a bit too optimistic and not realistic enough. today I am here to say I have no doubt being optimistic pays off in ways we can not begin to understand.
in november of 2010 my cardiologist told me not to leave town. it is my favorite time of year and we always go to Charleston to see our family and heather comes over too so we get the whole gang. there was no way I was going to miss seeing them and so we went. Chris and I knew the chance we were taking but decided to take that chance. he was willing to not go if I didn’t think we should but he knows me well enough to be packing. obviously I made it without being hospitalized and saw the cardiologist afterward and he was surprised I had not become worse.
today I went to see my primary care dr. he is just one of the good ones. as a man and a physician he is making a difference in lives. so today I say to him I want to go off a medication that has side effects that mimic those of the heart failure. in november my cardiologist said it was too risky. dr. s agreed with me that it was the only way to know for sure and we can increase other meds to cover for this one drug. the drug is one of choice for my condition so I understand any reluctance to tamper with it. however, I am thinking I don’t know if I am worse because of this drug so it makes sense to go off and see.
I am so sure this is going to be the case here that I immediately called Kristen and Heather to tell them the news. they think a lot like me and were so happy for me. if this works, and I believe it will, then I may have up to 2 more yrs to live! so for some of you that doesn’t sound like good news but if you thought the worst was coming any day now, 2 yrs would look very good to you. and who knows what will happen in those 2 yrs. Chris and I were talking about this, we have been told many times over the past 2 yrs that time was running out and if we had believed that each time? we have chosen to believe things will be okay whatever happens and when.
I was able to see the note the cardiologist wrote in december after I came back from Charleston. it said there was no medical explanation for my condition stabilizing. my primary care dr. disagreed. he said to me he believed it was my attitude that kept me going when others have not. I believe the love I have in my life and for my life has been a major factor. so I have a couple more calls to make to loved ones who believe in the power of love and positive thinking.